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Emotion and communication.

1st Feb 2021

I get emotional when I have to speak at a family event. My mother’s 70th for example, I couldn’t get past the lump in my throat. At my father’s 80th I tried to used humour to get passed the wobbly voice thing and it fell so flat it was embarrassing. I didn’t say a word at my own 50th ,  just nodded, smiled and said ‘thanks for coming’.

This is possibly unusual for a speech and communication consultant/trainer/teacher/expert. Expert. I really don’t like that word because I’m not. I have a lot of experience, I’ve done screeds of research (which I do pretty much every day) even got some letters in behind my name, but expert? No. And this is why.

Speech and communication is subjective. We all have an opinion and there are many different methods but we are ALL still learning, not matter what your experience, qualifications or courses you’ve been on; no one knows everything there is to know. Having said that, the more you do, the more you know and the quicker you are at realising what might work and what probably won’t. Then, as a trainer you reflect on what did work and why. You find out what your client wants to achieve and you refine your approach to what has worked for the majority of your past clients. Honesty is really important too. If I don't think I have the expertise or knowledge around a certain subject to train others, I'll tell them and recommend someone else.

What the real stickler is, what no one can fore-see no matter how many times you've trained or taught, is actual people and emotions. You can have all the knowledge in the world about effective communication but there is no absolute one right way to approach a situation or a challenging person. Same with speech, I have very strong opinions about how to pronounce words or enounce sounds and the sort of voice we should all be striving for, and this is backed up with research from a couple of universities mainly from the UK but also America, but my opinion could be completely different to yours.

This makes things quite challenging when you are looking for help and advice about communication to lead a team, a voice with authority so you don’t get spoken over in meetings, putting nerves in their place and using them for your benefit. But you most definitely can improve any speaking or communication situation that you find difficult or challenging. This is why I created the course Find Your Voice, Find Your Words. It is one course but you choose the option that best suits you – your personality, how you learn and the constraints like time and budget.

The difference with this course is it takes into account different learning styles and personalising it around you. It’s not a method and you receive the resources and training to suit what you want to achieve, not what I think you should achieve. Here’s the link to take a look. Find Your Voice, Find Your Words

What can you do emotion? I need to take my own advice lol. To stop yourself from crying, look up and take a breath in through your mouth. Usually I’d never recommend breathing through your mouth because it causes dehydration but in this case just do it once.

To stop the wobbly voice thing, take a deep breath in through your nose, all the way down to the bottom of your ribs and out again. Do this three times then yawn. Then try to yawn with your mouth closed. Obviously, do these exercises before you go into the situation that is causing the ‘I sound like I’m going to cry’ thing. If you can take a sip of water before you speak.

Find Your Voice, Find Your Words is on the Say It Clearly School website. Enrolment to the Say It Clearly School is free and this will keep you up to date with any new resources and courses. Click on the link above. Of course, you could just get in touch. Book a time to call.

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Get in touch with Miriam to discuss how she can help you.