7th Dec 2020
As the year comes to a close we become super aware of all the things we need to get done. Sometimes stuff we haven’t even started but it was a goal that we do this, this year so better get onto it. We want to not only get the job done but there’s parties to go to, wine (or beer) to drink, food to eat, people to talk to that we’d rather not to talk to (including family), presents to buy and the budget to contend with. Staff who get sick or decide now’s a good time to lay a complaint about someone or something. Then let’s chuck in that wind! Shall I stop now??
This time of the year can bring out the worst in us and rather than process our issues we like to blame others. Criticise and name call as well. Other people wind us up. Other people are morons, idiots, muppets*. It’s their fault. I wouldn’t react this way if it wasn’t for them. I wouldn’t feel this way if they didn’t do that.
Reframing that, take a look at what you are facing in your life and process that first. One deep breath that clears our head and (remember) flips the coin from fear and frustration to courage and communication. The most effective breath to take inward and then out, takes around 3 -4 seconds. You can spare that multiple times in your day. Taking 3 deep breaths at one time takes around 10 seconds. You can spare that too. Get this strategy into the fore-front of your brain and start to reduce your stress levels. That’s the first step.
“Remove blame and criticism from your dialogue and you will build your integrity within your team” Dr Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap, 2009. Dr Hendricks goes onto to say “Criticism is addictive. If you don’t believe me try going a week without criticising anyone. Too much of a stretch? Try a day, an hour even”. This is one concept that is truly challenging but removing blame and criticism from your dialogue is the second step in effective communication.
Take these two strategies into this time of year and you will be going a long way to bring calm and peace to not only your life but also those around you. May you and your family have a restful end of the year and here’s to 2021.
*words people have used during effective communication training with me
1st Dec 2020
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I will endeavour to give you as many weekly tips and techniques as possible as loyal newsletter readers, plus, give you a gift or two every now and then.
Let’s start now! Because not only because it is Christmas soon and 2020 is nearly over but it's also my birthday this month. Cue: I know.
Recently, Say It Clearly launched a new mentoring programme that runs for 12 months. For every programme sold, 1 school student receives a free training programme.
Actually, it’s for any individual programme sold a school student benefits from speech lessons.
For example; Tina Hardie, business owner, on the mentoring programme, donated speech lessons for Dom Riddell, the winner of the Southland Young Enterprise Scheme who will be pitching at the Nationals in Wellington on the 10th of December. He is getting help with pitching and presenting. We know he will be as successful here as he is at home.
If you want more information as to how this would look if you signed up to a programme, email me below.
If you want to nominate a student for free speech lessons, email me below.
This week's free gift is ....a bottle of Akarua bubbles! Completely nothing to do with speech but it's time to celebrate and I love this wee drop.
To be in to win forward this email to a friend or three and get them to sign up (link below) to the newsletter. That's it. Once you've shared, you're in. If you win the bubbles will be couried to your house/place of work or maybe delivered in person!
The comp closes on Sunday 6th December at 12pm and winner announced 5pm.
SIGN UP LINK
23rd Nov 2020
On Friday 20th November Southland Chamber of Commerce and the Glass Elevator Women’s networking group held a conference, not conference. The theme was ‘courage’ and the 4 key note speakers spoke about courage, taking risks, leadership, overcoming adversity, and work life balance. The previous week the Chamber and Southland Export Trust held a gala dinner recognising success in the Export industry. Both of these events combined; celebrating success, overcoming challenges we all face in our life were events that brought people together, where there was fabulous food, entertainment at really marvellous Southland venues, not only recognising and celebrating success but most of all, time to catch up with people in our community, where we could ask ‘how are you going’. How are you celebrating your success? Can you list your successes this year? This can be a challenge for a lot of us, we just do our thing and not expect to be recognised or celebrate but I think this is crucial. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just something to reward you and your team (family included in here too) with an actual list of your successes this year. This rewires your brain by growing your conscious mind into believing you succeed frequently, it's easy and it's fun. If there is a ‘yet to achieve’ on your list that has possibly been on there for a while and you’re not too sure how to go about achieving this or if there is some fear that is holding you back, fear of making a mistake, fear of people’s judgements, fear that you’re not good enough. Whatever the reason, if fear is on one side of the coin* and courage is on the other, what flips that coin is your breath. Fear causes us to hold our breath. Not like cheeks puffed out bright red holding our breath but our breathing becomes so shallow it freezes up our muscles and stops us from taking action. Learn how to breathe from your diaphragm to release that fear and turn it into courage, progress, excitement. *Thanks to Dr G Hendricks for the coin analogy. There are 3 ways I can help you to achieve effective breath control, to find your voice and overcomes nerves.
Here’s to your ongoing success.