24th Aug 2020
“The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value”. Dweck, C . Mindset: The Psychology of Success. Ballentine Books, New York. 2006.
How’s your self-talk these days? This determines how we view ourselves and if we speak negatively to ourselves (in our heads) it can have a significant impact on how or if we achieve goals we have set for ourselves. Overwhelm, feelings of failure, anxiety can lead to depression if we don’t change how we think of ourselves. Easier said than done? Maybe. The first step is awareness, aware of how we are feeling and how we speak internally about ourselves. Next step is learning strategies to stop our negative thinking in its tracks. Then, reversing the situation to more positive thoughts and self-speak. Sometimes writing things down helps, speaking to someone who knows how to listen well is also extremely helpful (note: people who listen well won’t tell you what to do, won’t tell you to stop being silly or something similar, won’t change the subject by talking about themselves and their issues, and also won’t be negative or derogatory towards your situation. Just so you know what to look for in a good listener, which is key). Learning new strategies for how you should speak to yourself especially if you feel like you aren’t succeeding in work/relationships/life in general. There are some great books out there to help. Apart from Carol Dweck, Karen Nimmo, a New Zealand clinical psychologist’s book Busy As F*ck, HarperCollins. 2019. is excellent.
How about your values. Have you figured out what your top 3 values are? This exercise alone can produce pretty amazing results in how you lead your life. You automatically become more focussed and less likely to self-sabotage your own success. Self-sabotage. Now there’s a topic! This interests me hugely and I will be writing about this further down the track. Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a F#$% HarperCollins, USA. 2016. is outstanding. The title is nothing like what you could possibly think as it’s all about finding your values to live your life by.
There is a short and easy quiz to help you figure out whether you have a fixed mindset or growth mindset according to Carol Dweck, to help you with reaching your goals or increase your levels of achievement. In the mean time here is a link to her TED talk